Kvetches like the real deal

It all started about fifteen years ago while shopping for furniture at Jordan’s on Route 9 in Natick, across from the infamous Shopper’s World indoor mall.

The saleswoman, sitting spread out on a three seat couch that we eventually purchased asked if I got a lot of inquiries and second looks because of my uncanny resemblance to Larry David.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

We had never heard of him. The saleswoman told us that he was the co-producer and creator of Seinfeld. She suggested that I look into it and see for myself. She then walked off laughing and shaking her head.

It was true.   I did look like him. And I still do because we’re about the same age (actually he’s five years older, age 71), and he and I have lost about the same amount of hair, have about the same physique, are about the same height.  I don’t usually wear a sports coat, like he does, but I could, and we both wear long sleeve jerseys, sometimes lightweight v-neck sweaters, and generally casual clothes.  My wife said I acted like him (back then) but apparently I have changed because she no longer says that about me.

And Then it Happened in New Hampshire

A few years ago on our way back from York, Maine, after visiting our friends who live their during the summer months, we stopped into the New Hampshire Liquor Store to buy some reds and whites. It happened. A young man approached me laughing his head off, asking if anyone had ever said I looked like Larry David. He didn’t smell of liquor, fortunately, as it was only about 10 am. He grabbed me and took me out of the store, and brought me over to his wife in the parking lot who was waiting for him in their late model SUV, and asked her to take a few pictures of the two of us with her iPhone, so as to upload it to his Facebook and share with his followers. I was getting used to my new status and obliged him.

A year or two later my niece from Florida, who was living and working in Manhattan started calling me “LD”.  “Happy Birthday LD!” she exclaimed that first week in February.  So I joined the Curb Your Enthusiasm Fan Page on Facebook to boost my knowledge and get more into my role.

I thought it was all pretttty, prettttty, pretttttttty funny.

Up until a year ago, I drove a Prius, just like Larry, though mine was red and his was blue. I was becoming his doppelgänger.

And it continued.

Celebrity lookalikes is competitive too

At an outdoor fiftieth anniversary party in Narragansett, RI, I met a cameraman from Brooklyn who works with Martin Scoresce in all his movies including Shelter Island with Leo DiCapria, one of my favorite actors.  For me to capitalize as a Larry David impersonator, this man said it’s not sufficient to simply look like him and dress like him, I would have to learn a few lines, a few stories, or anecdotes to really become a Larry David impersonator.

Looking into it further, I discovered the competition is fierce in the LD impersonator business; maybe it’s not as fierce right now as Trump or Hillary or Stormy Daniels lookalikes, but there are impersonators with stronger credentials than I.  Consider Bubby Gram (www.bubbygram.com ). “Alan” (pictured above to the far right of this blog entry) has twenty five years acting in the business as Larry David: “he looks, sounds, dresses and kvetches like the real deal”.  Personally, I believe I truly look much more like Larry than he does, but he’s got the routines, the poise, the performances down pat.  And I’ve never acted in any production aside from being in a crowd in a second grade performance at the Brown School in Natick.  Could I match his performance and monopolize the Larry David impersonator scene on the East Coast?  He can have the West Coast, and the Midwest if need be.

Could I do it?  I’d have to take an acting class and voice class too.  Celebrity lookalikes are represented by agencies such has Mirror Images  of LA and Tapley  Enterprises of Dallas.  They solicit business and take a cut. But one has to be good to perform.

I learned that price per hour is a function of popularity, familiarity, rarity, expected duties and location.  An Elvis lookalike gets from $150 to $1500 per gig according to Gigmasters. Travel including accommodations and meals is paid by the buyer.

I mean it’s true. Women love a self-confident bald man. I mean, I can relate to Larry especially when he says things like:

“Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair. Change my name, just see what happens.”

i can relate when he says he’s “not interested in doing a stop and chat”. Or that he “tolerates lactose like he tolerates people”.

What do you think? Do I have the makings of Larry David? Is this worth my while, or should I stick with pen & ink drawing and calligraphy which I am scheduled to start taking classes next month ?  Then again, Halloween is six weeks away, and I might develop a routine in time and see how well I perform when the trick or treaters come to our door. (Last year we had two.) The little kiddies might not know whom I am, but their parents who accompany them might.  Ahh, the dilemmas that life presents to us.

It’s a prettttty, prettttttty, pretttttttty interesting idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by Richard Halpern

Retired (but busy) after a lengthy career in business marketing, communications and research. Worked at four start-ups and one turnaround. Now volunteer doing prospect research for a climate activity and social advocacy non profit, amongst other things.

4 thoughts on “Kvetches like the real deal

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